bury me @ my homeland

2 weeks through the end of april i spent in my parents stomping grounds. where they took their losses and wins from adolescence to young adulthood. being a child of immigrants comes with complex emotions and thoughts. learning about their upbringing while simultaneously learning about my own. i was given perspective about my own life and the world. whole time i had dakotah by my side who taught me about love and trust. what a trip.

i want to say summer of 2020 i took a trip to dominican republic. i was so scared of visiting my parents homeland i forced my best friend, brother and dad to take the trip with me. i hadnt been to dominican republic since i was 3 or 4 years old. i had no real experience traveling internationally and my mind was racing with anxious thoughts. was my spanish good enough? do i talk like them? do i look like them? are they going to judge me? i had a me vs them mentality.

when in reality it was never me vs them. there was me. and then there is everyone and everything else. thats what i learned this time around. the world doesnt care. not in a bad way. just in the way of if you show up as yourself people and things will either accept you or deny you. either way its okay.

here are some truths. i am a child of dominican immigrants, who worked endlessly to provide for me the life i live today. with that, i was born in america. my tongue does not move like those who were born in the dominican republic. my mouth can not make the proper shape of the words of that half of the island (the other half being haiti). however our values are so deeply tied together. love and respect are what drive the community and culture. two things i pride myself on are being full of love and treating everyone with respect. this trip to the island i was able to thrive because I was myself and everyone could feel it.

Did i get some funny looks? sure but that happens anywhere. they called me crazy at times and over eager and to slow down. but this trip i am going to cherish for the rest of my life. showed me my growth as an individual and the beauty of my parents homeland. flaws and all.

we spent a good chunk of our trip in the country side. at my grandmothers home, everyone calls her “mai”,so when i say mai i am referring to her. mai lives in a small village/town called la estancia closest city being a few miles down the road, los matas de farfan located on the far west side of the island nearest haiti. here i was able to see and truly experience my mothers upbringing.

here There’s no running water so jugs of water are delivered for 40 pesos every thursday. this water is used to drink, shower, cook and whatever else. before this, my mom would walk about 1-2 miles down to the river and scoop water with buckets and walk back to the house. an uncle of mine and i walked down to the river as he showed me different crops on the country side that they were growing. cilantro, corn, beets, platano, rulo and alot of other things that i am forgetting. but he told me stories of what they would do as kids in these very fields. play, eat, laugh, cry, and fight.

told me stories about my mom fighting men and pretty much whoever else wanted to get into it for any reason at all. i learned about my grandfather, who passed before i was born, and how he would treat mai, my mom and her siblings. ah it all makes sense. i understood her more in that moment. i understood me more in that moment. i’ll spare you the details but my point is, get to your roots. physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally.

to learn about yourself and about the world you first have to learn how we got here to begin with. all the nuance in the stories that remain untold unless we seek them. i am not my parents, but i am apart of them as they are me. a large chunk of who i am comes from who they are. as a child of an immigrant i recommend all people to go to their homelands. as a child of the world i recommend we all get familiar with the things outside of what we know and see.

now i know i said “i this and I that and i, i, i, i…” but dakotah was right by my side every single step of the way. she has traveled the world much more than i have so nothing phased her. from road trips across the island where lane lines were optional to bucket showers with boiled warm, she stood by me through it all. she showed me that part of my strength is her. that collectively we are better together then we would ever be apart. she watched the parts of me that felt vulnerable. my emotions, my spirit. she kept me grounded and i can not thank her enough for being with me on this trip. but thank you and i love you.

full trip itinerary was Santo domingo > la romana > bani > la estancia > barahona > santo domingo. with stops at beautiful beaches and met amazing people. i connected with family, friends, my women and myself. And if I ever have a say in what happens to me after I go…
bury me @ my homeland.

dakotah is an amazing photographer and she is going to share picture for me to post here eventually.